Hello everyone! I know I’ve disappeared a bit in the past few months but I just wanted to let you guys know what’s going on. I haven’t been posting nearly as much and I want to — it’s just been busy.
Let’s just get the big stuff out of the way first! I’ve been having really bad stomach pain the past month and I finally went to the doctor for it. It’s unlike any pain I’ve had before so I was worried. They thought maybe my appendix was irritated since it does happen on the right side often. I got a CT scan and my appendix was fine however, my lungs weren’t. They had seen a teeny tiny nodule on my left lung and decided I needed a full lung CT scan to make sure that’s what it really is. I went the next day for my lung CT scan and found out two days later that I actually have three nodules (or lumps) on my lungs. They’re not cancerous which I thought so considering I’m quite young and don’t even smoke. I was kind of shaken up by this because how do you not panic when you find out there’s things on your lungs that shouldn’t be there? Why are they even there? They said it could be from a lot of things but that I need to get routine CT scans every year to make sure they’re not growing. This is because if they are growing, they’ll start to cause problems with my breathing. They’re very small so I try to not worry about it but I’m seeing a lung specialist soon so still kind of worried. I have no idea why they’re there or if they even affect me already so I’m hoping I’ll find more out Tuesday.
Now, onto the other big thing that’s been upsetting me. One of my precious cats, Baby, passed away a few days ago. He had been struggling with his health for awhile since he had a category four heart murmur. If you know anything about heart murmurs in cats, that’s pretty dang bad. He actually lived much longer than he should have since we took great care of him and gave him medicine. Unfortunately, his medicine hadn’t been helping his breathing at all. You could tell it was hard for him to breathe and he was working extra hard to do so. He also has had seizures for the past year or so but they slowed down a lot after awhile and they didn’t worry us anymore. But, unfortunately, they started coming back and he had three in one day before he had to be put down. He started to pee himself every time and he seemed miserable. He wasn’t acting himself anymore and there wasn’t much we could do for him. His medicine stopped working and if we did an X-ray on him to find out more, he would’ve probably ended up on oxygen and in a hospital. It’s not the life he wanted to live and we know that. He was struggling so much in the end but it was still very hard to let him go. Losing a pet is so difficult because one moment they’re there and the next, they’re gone.
Now, onto the little things… I had to take the Fall semester off due to personal reasons so I haven’t been in school. I’ve been bored without school but this had let me read much more and focus on other things. I’m still working at the indie bookstore but I’m losing hope that I’ll have this job very long. I don’t want to share much about it but it seems like our store isn’t doing as well as it did before so I’m just praying that we stay open for now. It’s stressful working in a store that isn’t doing it’s best because you feel as if there’s something you should be doing but you can’t. I’m just a minimum wage bookseller with truly not much control at all. I just sell books.
I don’t have much more to update you on but if you wish to be updated more often, I’m way more active on my Instagram (@uponthepages). I try to post daily excluding Fridays and Saturdays. I hope to see you on there!